Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

.....lol.....

TK